Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tomorrow she will drive my old car which she got possession of this weekend (and is now her new car) to the same dealership so that they can swap the new tires from her poor old car to her new car (my old car).
And if you can figure out any of that gibberish then you're doing better than me.
Tomorrow morning I will meet her at the dealership (I've been using Hans' vehicle) and take her to her class (college girl) while they work on our cars, but only after I've taken her to breakfast.
Just waiting for her to call me reminded me of the many times I waited for my son (who will be 26 in April!!) to call me from hockey practice so I could go get him. For one full year his practice started at 10:00 Pm and ended at eleven and this was on a school night!!!
I kid you not.
Those of you who are currently childless might want to count your blessings.
Tonight had the added pleasure (?) of Baby Girl announcing that she's pretty sure she broke her big toe at practice and has to go get X-Rays in the morning. She added to the drama by using crutches to walk 2 feet from her car to mine (really Hans' vehicle that I've been using).
She was surly and snotty (not like her at all) during the trip to her apartment and after telling me that she planned on playing Lacrosse "no matter what", I didn't argue with her and told her that if that's what she wanted to do then fine (although I bit my tongue, because I really wanted to ask her how she planned to do that if she needed CRUTCHES to walk 2 stinking feet to my car! But she's my third and believe me I've learned a lot!).
After the tire swap we need to get her poor, tired, and almost dead vehicle to a man who's promised me $75.00 (a lot less than the $4,000 blue book value) for its carcass.
But her answer to me was, "I still have stuff in it. I don't have time to empty it".
She's known for about 3 months that at the end of February when her car's inspection is due that this would have to be done.
And she's my responsible one.
That's why bourbon is my friend.
Hans' nerves are also a bit frazzled.
He had to go to Europe for two weeks on business.
The first week was pleasant. He spent a good deal of time in Germany and this allowed him to stay (a big savings for the company!) with family, but this week? Not so much fun.
At one point he spent over 40 dollars on a 6 minute taxi ride and only later found out he could have taken a bus for about 3 dollars. And believe me this man has traveled around the world many times and it's tough to pull a fast one over on him.
He says he thinks perhaps Madrid has built the biggest airport ever. To get to baggage claim you have to go from point A to point Z (and in so doing, you go past every expensive shop imaginable, and isn't that a brilliant ploy?) (BTW we suffered through the same thing in Barcelona) and even then he had to wait twenty minutes for his baggage to roll in.
His taxi driver blatantly ripped him off for about 20 euros.
On his trip from Germany to Zurich someone stole a liter of beer (Yes a liter! it's Germany for God's sake!) out of his checked baggage.
He forgot his good dress pants on the back of a bathroom door and had to buy a new pair at a 'Big and Strong Man' store (as opposed to a 'Wimpy Little Man' store?) only after being giggled at by a girl at a trendy clothing store and being told "We don't carry your size".
His current (way overpriced) hotel has 9 ounce bottles of beer for 9 euros! And there is absolutely no where else to go for a drink.
This is Tuesday and he still has to go to Athens (where he's scheduled to land at one AM) and then he has to go back to Germany. All of this by Thursday.
He's really ready to come home, I'm more than ready for him to come home. and there had better be some sewing time this weekend!
Monday, February 23, 2009
And since my sewing machines are in Hans' apartment and I'm here and not there, I'm not getting any sewing done.
My family room has a typical drop ceiling with a tongue-in-groove tiled ceiling and fluorescent lighting. But it also has carpeting and a working fire place and in the winter it's really very cozy. Anyway, the plastic 'shade' that shields the fluorescent light had yellowed and cracked with age. Actually there are two of them. I found replacement panels at the local hardware store but they were too wide and would need to be cut down to size.
Guess who got to cut them?
Thank God the employee at the store warned me that it was a difficult task and that the panels can break very easily.
So I bought extra sharp utility (razor) blades, loaded one into my utility cutter, and with gloves and goggles (I'm too damned busy to pay any visits to the emergency room!), I carefully scored a line the length of the panel, and then placing the scored line 1/8th of an inch over the edge of my work bench I carefully bent the panel, snapping it off every few inches.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
And I thought it might be nice to replace the burner rings and drip pans. Well guess what? My stove is an old Hot Point and you just try to find the right parts!
Anyway, the following was emailed to me and it brought back an old memory. It has nothing to do with sewing and I've never posted anything quite like it but it's true.
The first part of this post was emailed to me and I'm copying it here.
The second part of this post is a true jury duty story. I'll state here and before the second part of this post, that the contents could very well offend and upset some people (and it should), so just be warned.
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: You're kidding me, right!?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that question?
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a blood sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?______________________________________
--- And the best for last: ---
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, he could have been alive and practicing law.
Here's the second part of the post.
Have you ever been selected for jury duty?
And I have to tell you that I took it very seriously as did all the other people who served with me. Deciding someones innocence or guilt is not anything to be taken lightly and, let me add, I hope to never be a witness at a trial! What those poor people at my trial were subjected to was humiliating.
Someday maybe I'll post about my own experience.
I'll warn you now that the following story contains subject matter and language that may offend some people but it is an absolutely true story.
Imagine how awful it would be to be chosen for a rape trial.
That's what happened to a friend of mine and here is her experience.
Basically, a woman claimed that an acquaintance of hers had abducted her, took her to a hotel, and raped her.
This is her testimony upon being interrogated by the accused man's defense attorney.
Attorney: So you're saying that after you got into Mr. Smith's car, he pulled a gun on you and told you he'd kill you if you didn't do what he said.
Victim: That's right.
Attorney: And then he took you to a bar, is that right?
Victim: That's right.
Attorney: When you were in the bar, were you at any time alone? Did Mr. Smith leave you at any time?
Victim: Well, he went to the bathroom.
Attorney: And where was the gun?
Victim: He left it in the car, in the glove compartment.
Attorney: So at that point Mr. Smith is in the bathroom, the gun is in the car, and you had ample opportunity to ask for help. Why didn't you?
Victim: I don't know.
Attorney: What happened next.
Victim: We went to get gas in the car.
Attorney: After Mr. Smith was done pumping gas in the car, what did he do?
Attorney: I'm asking you if Mr. Smith paid for the gas? Or did he just leave and not pay?
Victim: No, he paid for it.
Attorney: And how did he pay for it?
Victim: He went inside and gave them the money. (This was before you could pay at the pump with credit cards)
Attorney: And where was the gun then?
Victim: Mr. Smith asked me to hold it while he went inside.
Silence while the jury got to digest this.
Attorney: So then where did you go?
Victim: We went to a hotel.
Victim: Mr. Smith told me to take my clothes off so I did.
Attorney: And then what happened?
Victim: He made me have sex with him.
Attorney: Did he talk to you?
Attorney: What did he say?
Victim: He said, ' Squeeze my balls.'
Attorney: And did you?
Victim: NO I DID NOT!
Attorney: Did he say anything else to you?
Attorney: What did he say?
Victim: He said, 'Squeeze them harder.'
And folks this actually went to trial.
I kid you not.
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Dinner was held at a friend's house and I think there were seven couples in attendance. The men were in charge and in addition to preparing the meal, they served the ladies, cleared dishes, and cleaned up.
It was just too much fun, all the guests were so nice, and believe it or not, the whole idea was a man's!
I kid you not.
I had my camera with me but I just never got around to taking pictures and since I don't like to post photos of people without their permission you wouldn't see them here anyway. But I did bring home a chocolate covered strawberry, so I took a picture of it next to the card that Hans got for me.
I have to tell you, those strawberries were fabulous.
Here's the recipe:
Dark chocolate, chocolate chips.
Giant Eagle frosting in a can.
Melt the chocolate chips, I don't have a double boiler so I put my chips in a Pyrex dish, in a pan of simmering water on the stove, and heat until melted.
Using a toothpick, dip your strawberries in the chocolate and place on little fluted paper cups.
Pipe a stripe of frosting onto the cooled and hardened chocolate. You can create a baker's piping tool out of waxed paper, formed into a cone with the pointy end cut off. Put your frosting inside and squeeze it out the other end.
They must be simple as they were made by a very busy couple who have FIVE children aged 10 and under.
Believe it or not there was another couple there who have five kids.
And in addtion to being sane, they were loads of fun.
We had pork, beef, sauteed mushrooms. broccoli and cauliflower, red skin potatoes, apples; baked and stuffed with raisins and cornbread, salad, bread (ala Hans), champagne, wine, coffee, and dessert.
Hans was very helpful and poured gravy all over my pork, beef, and potatoes (I love gravy) and after I took a bite and proclaimed it to be absolutely fabulous, we found out it wasn't gravy. It was juice from the stuffed apples.
I think I've hit on a whole new taste treat.
Anyway, throughout the evening, we ladies never had to leave our seats and Hans said that out in the kitchen the men were very busy and while one man really took over and had everything running very efficiently, the other men would report on what was going on in the dining room. One husband skidded back into the kitchen in a panic when our innocent topic of circumcision was overheard and none of the men would venture back among us until a tamer subject was being discussed.
When we got home Hans was very eager to hear my take on his participation during the evening.
"Did you notice me coffeeing everyone?" He eagerly asked.
I had to smile because I know that before Hans met me he had never heard nor concerned himself with the term coffeeing. As a waitress I've lamented many a time to him about how I have to keep after the younger servers to 'coffee' their tables.
"I coffeed quite a bit you know." He added.
I told him that I did indeed notice and that he did a wonderful job.
"And I wined too!" He beamed at me. "Did you notice me wining?"
And I had to bite my lip because I've never heard the term 'wining' when it comes to pouring wine, but I couldn't bring myself to burst his bubble.
"I did notice!" I exclaimed. "And you were the biggest winer there tonight!"
I was rewarded by a very happy, Hans smile!
He's so stinking cute and I'm going to miss the heck out of him.
He left for Europe today and he's going to be gone for two long weeks.
Now it's my turn to be a big whiner!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
In addition to my moving all of my belongings into Hans apartment over the last month, Hans ended up getting a keyboard. Actually this one is going back because it doesn't work with his computer properly but don't worry there is a replacement all lined up.
I guess we keep forgetting that this is a one bedroom apartment.
I took a very short video of him playing House of the Rising Sun. I don't know why I like that piece of music but I always make him play it.
As you watch it, you'll notice a portrait of a man in the left side of the picture. That's Hans' paternal grandfather and a lot of people think it's Hans. Then on the mantle are pictures of us and actually you can see Hans' bronze baby shoes. Mine are up there too but you can't see them. Off to the right and up on the wall is a portrait of Hans' mother when she was somewhere in her 30's, and to the far, far right is a drawing of Hans when he was a little boy.
Apparently, Sally Stitch stowed away in the SUV last week. Hans says it's very disconcerting to get up in the night for a glass of water and find her waiting in the kitchen. The fact that she doesn't have a head is a little unsettling too.
I told him to be thankful for that; if she had a brain we'd both be in trouble.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Monday is the day I drive home from the Big City and by the time I get myself settled in it's like why would I really want to start anything big?
Tuesday rolls around and I know I have to get down to business.
Then on Wednesday, I'm all worn out from Tuesday.
Thursday is the day I drive back to the Big City and I have to load the SUV up with all the stuff that I'm moving into Hans' apartment (ie: sewing machines, out of season clothing, bins of fabrics that will never be made into anything, and books I can't live without yet will never read again).
Actually, I believe I read once that Tuesday is also the most productive day in the workplace too.
Why do I remember these things?
Anyway, today I finished my bathroom by putting some wallpaper border around the window. I thought it would dress things up a bit and distract future buyers from noticing the harvest gold kitchen appliances and the living room shag carpet.
I had bought 4 rolls of this border at $10.00 a roll and it killed me to pay that much. I cut the border, lengthwise, down the middle for the window and by the time I was done with the bathroom I had literally used every square inch of 3 rolls. I took the 4th unused roll back to the store today for a refund.
I head back to the Big City tomorrow and as we all know, Valentine's Day is this weekend (you'd have to be deaf and blind to not know this). Anyway, Hans and I were just going to grill steaks and open a bottle of wine as I refuse to go out to a restaurant on this totally over-rated, let's make everyone feel like if you don't have someone in your life then you're a loser, holiday (Believe me, I've been a waitress for too many of these awful evenings and it rates right up there with Mother's Day), when we got invited to an interesting get together.
A couple we know are having some other couples over for dinner, and the men are going to cook. The host is going to provide the main course and the other men are to make something/anything to go along with the meal. Hans immediately offered to bring the bread as he plans on buying it from his favorite local baker.
I say that's cheating.
He says it's not.
And somehow I've been roped into making Sombrero spread (a cheese, salsa, and bean dip) to take along.
Have I ever mentioned before that Hans is the ultimate salesman?
Because he is!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
#2 : What a nightmare.
This is the finished version. I used left over 'fake' leather that I used for my sister's birthday present last year.
This is the open version using the 12 inch hex frame that I bought on line last year.
Here is what it looks like with a wine bottle inside. It will hold two bottles side by side.
An important feature for Hans and me.
A side view of my masterpiece.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Here you can see the card tables with a cutting mat on top. I can store supplies underneath. I may make a skirt to go around the tables and cover up some of the clutter.