Happy Mother's Day

Personally I don't like these kind of holidays. There are so many people who've lost a mother or perhaps have children who ignore them and this turns into such a depressing day for them. I think in the end it's just a big money making scheme.

And as a waitress it's a living nightmare. In my whole waitressing career, I've only worked one Mother's Day, and after that one day I vowed 'never again'. I have no idea why the place I work lets me take it off as normally it's required, and short of death (your own) no one gets out of it. Of course the fact that I'm currently sailing on the Delaware Bay (and have just been asked via radio to 'please move' by a huge Dole container ship), might have something to do with it.

To me Mother's Day is a day when; men would rather be golfing, the kids don't want to get dressed up, Mom is trying her best to keep everything together, and dear old grandma who's been ignored all year long has just donned her polyester Sunday suit , sticky pink lipstick, and best costume jewelry, and can't wait to make her waitress's life a living hell!

And she does a good job.

From refusing to order until the entire menu has been translated, dissected, and criticized-to insisting that what you brought to her is not at all what she ordered-to asking for 20 to-go containers for the very food she sneered at through the whole meal.

And when Grandma finally sees your hands shake, the tears threatening to spill over because she's been such a big stinker and now way too many of your other customers are getting lousy service, then and only then has the old bat had herself a wonderful Mother's Day.

And finally for the first time that day Grandma rewards everyone with a big lipstick smeared toothy smile.

Only Thank God, I won't be there to see it!