Monday, January 14, 2008

I hear voices, and one belongs to my dress form

So I get home tonight and I'm trying to get into my sewing room but Sally Stitch has barricaded herself in there along with my computer, sewing machine, and cats.

She says I'm unstable. (Just because when I went home for lunch, I kicked the computer and threatened to sell the cats to a chinese restaurant).

So I'm pounding on the door, screaming at her to unlock it, when I hear a commercial on the TV that gets my attention." thoughts, severe mood swings, bursts of energy followed by bouts of exhaustion."

I realize that it's a pharmaceutical commercial describing my symptoms to a T. I fall to my knees in front of the TV praying that FINALLY the drug companies have turned over a new leaf. Instead of manufacturing yet one more drug for men who have problems (ahem) performing that just maybe, they've come up with a drug, for women crippled by PMS, that won't cause cancer, pack on an extra 50 pounds, or give us a five o'clock shadow at two in the afternoon.

" may be bipolar."


Guess what my neighbors are saying tonight.

"Hey Myrtle, the neighbor lady just threw a TV out her front window."

And Myrtle will reply,"Ooh, must be bad this time, last month it was her toaster oven."

Sally Stitch

(Her days may be numbered)


Katie Alender said...

She looks so smug!

Angelia said...

hahahaha!!! I'm really glad my dress form doesn't have an attitude like Sally Stitch!!