I'm a vacation jinx.
I may have failed to mention this to Hans when we first met.
It's possible I may not have mentioned a few other things to him too.
Kids. "All these kids? No they're not mine, they belong to the neighbor. You guys knock it off in there or I'll come in there and beat the snot out of you! Cute aren't they?"
Cats. " These are very rare cats, very unusual and exotic. You won't find cats like this anywhere else on the earth." (Well, that one was true anyway).
Turtles. "These turtles were actually adopted from down south. There are so many homeless turtles down there that need good homes, that I just couldn't refuse. I've been assured they won't grow any larger than their habitat." Thank God I have a queen size bed.
Skink. This little lizard is a fascinating display of organ/limb regeneration. Every time his tail is yanked off it's truly an education.
How do I know I'm a jinx? Just read the small print the next time you get airline tickets.
You've been assured that your flight will take approximately one hour MAYBE EVEN LESS IF YOU CATCH A GOOD HEAD WIND.
But, read the small print.
Your flight will take approximately one hour unless Laura is on board. Then you may expect major delays, turbulence, and possible alien sightings.
One of my first trips with Hans required a short jaunt that was to take all of about one and a half hours.
Three and a half hours and a full barf bag later (guess who?), we landed just in time to watch a Fed Ex plane burn on the runway.
Hans was in awe. In all of his many years and millions of miles of flying, he'd never experienced anything like this.
Hang in there baby, you ain't seen nothing yet.