Monday, July 21, 2008

Happy Anniversary to us!

July the 18th was Hans' and my 4th anniversary.

I'll never forget the day we met.

It was a cloudy, overcast, Sunday afternoon, and the first day in two weeks that I had a full day off from both of my jobs. I'd gone to my local beach bar so I could lie on my towel, read a book, relax, and have a beer.

I had no sooner spread my towel out on the sand and opened my book when it started to rain. I was contemplating going home when two women who were sitting near me invited me to join them in the protected bar area. Normally, I don't find women to be especially friendly and I didn't even know them but since I really didn't want to leave, I accepted. They were very nice and we talked and listened to the DJ when all of a sudden a sunburned man with nasty razor burn, and sour breath appeared out of no where and asked me if he could 'talk' to me. I wasn't sure what he wanted to talk about, and I'm too stupid or polite (I never want to hurt any one's feelings) to ever say no, so I wiped his spit off of my face, and said ok.

After shouting "I've dropped thirty bucks at the bar already and I've only been here twenty minutes! Hee! Hee! Hee!" he then proceeded to launch into a loud, and bizarre tale about his daughter's high school graduation party. I would seem that he'd rented a bus for the evening and then with all of his daughter's friends aboard, took them bar hopping. Yes, bar hopping, and I have no idea who in their right mind served alchohol to a bunch of high school kids. He thought it was hysterical "... and was my ex-wife ever pissed off!" He howled with laughter and I wondered how the hell I was going to get away from him. He was still spitting in my face when he shouted, "Do you want to hear some more stories about how I piss my ex-wife off?" So I told him I saw someone across the board walk that I knew, excused myself, and walked away.

Ten minutes later I could see that he still hadn't moved so when I went back to my table I sat on the other side of my new lady friends and as far away from the spitter as I could.

Wham, he was in my face again only now he was upset, "I thought you said you'd talk to me!" he said belligerently.

"I did." I said.

"I thought you were going to sit with me!"

"I did, only now I'm sitting here."

"Get the hell out of here!" One of my new friends shouted. "Don't you get it? She doesn't want to talk to you!"

I wanted to crawl under the table as he stomped away.

It wasn't much later when a man, holding a full pitcher of beer stopped in front of me causing the beer to slosh over the sides.

"Are we having fun yet?" He shouted at me.

Oh no! Not again! I thought, and then his friend who was trailing behind him, swooped down, shook my hand, and said, "My name is Hans." And then he sat down next to me. (Hans has since told me that he had pointed me out to Scotty and told him to walk past me, but Scotty was drunk and went up to the wrong woman and Hans had to grab him and shove him in my direction! I never noticed any of this and I can't help but wonder what that other woman must have thought).

Having learned my lesson earlier, I didn't say much and ignored this Hans guy who was trying to make conversation with me. My message got through loud and clear though, and after a few minutes he left.

Thank God! I thought.

The sun came out, more people arrived, and I found myself glad that I hadn't gone home. Hans made yet one more circuit and once again sat down beside me. (He later told me that even though I'd ignored him the first time, the salesman in him told him to try one more time!) He was very low key and didn't say disgusting, vulgar, off color, or suggestive things to me that for some reason some men seem to think is either very attractive or expected of them in bars.

He mentioned that this was his very first trip to my little swamp town and he only came at the urging of his pitcher carrying friend (who btw is Scottie, who made the May, Massachusetts to Maryland trip with us this past spring). We really didn't talk about much of anything but I found myself thinking that he seemed like a very nice man.

Even though I knew it was stupid, I found myself accepting a boat ride around our lake with him (the people he was staying with for the weekend owned the boat) I'm a good swimmer and it was daylight so I figured if he pulled some stupid stunt I could always swim to shore.

He was a perfect gentleman even though he later confessed that he didn't want to be.

I told him it was a damned good thing he was or he never would have seen me again!

I ended up staying much longer than I intended to and then Scotty got a phone call and said they had to leave RIGHT NOW! They had stranded their friends on the other side of the lake as they had taken both their car and their boat and these same friends had been frantically calling them all day on their cell phones to come and get them. But, Hans and Scotty ignored them because Hans wanted to talk to me.

Suddenly Scotty was thrusting a waitress pad in my hands and telling Hans and me to, "Hurry up and exchange your numbers, we have to leave!"

Now, I never give out my number but I found myself writing down my phone number and email address and Hans did the same.

Hans did call me a couple of days later but we didn't actually go out on a date for about two weeks because he had to go out of town on business.

We may have ended up happily ever after but I have to tell you we almost didn't. It took a couple of dates before I really realized that there was something there. After being single and dating for seven years I promised myself that I'd never settle for just any man.

But I hadn't counted on meeting Happy Hans the Traveling Salesman, and I'm glad he came back around that second time.

He says I'm the best sale he ever made.
For our anniversary Hans gave me a new digital camera so he took a picture of me with my matching Beach Bag, Snap Bag, and Shoe Bag.
He gets a kick out of my sewing.

7 comments:

Joanharvest said...

Congratulations on your anniversary!! What a great story. Now I'll have to read about your trip in May with Scottie.

laura said...

Thank you! Indeed, you should check out the May trip with Scottie. And check my 'travel' posts, some of them are when we went to Boston (or Baaaaston as you folks up north pronounce it!).

LauraLo said...

Happy anniversary to you and Hans, Laura! I loved the story of how you met and I wish you both all the happiness in the world!

Katie Alender said...

I was afraid the guy who rented the bus was going to end up being Hans... ha ha, that would have taken some adjusting to, as a reader of your blog. ;-)

Fancy camera! You'll have fun with it, I'm sure.

Mary Witzl said...

Awww! Like Katie, I was afraid that Scottie was going to turn out to be Hans and I just could not make myself like him. So what a relief.

There is nothing nicer than a man who behaves like a perfect gentleman but does not want to.

laura said...

Katie, that would have been awful! And that disgusting man continued to frequent the beach bar the rest of the summer but he totally avoided me!
Mary, Scottie was just a little toasted and Hans made him approach me so he could break the ice. I hope I didn't give you the immpression that Scotty was the first man!!!Yuck!

Angelia said...

Congrats!!! Nothing beats a bald man!!!