A happy birthday headache

Tomorrow I head back to my old swamp town to celebrate my mother's 74th birthday.

I'm hoping this goes better than some of my past visits and that I arrive back at the apartment without a pounding headache.

I'm to pick up Baby Girl (plus a couple of pizzas) and take her with me.

Vet Tech Girl can't go because she has 'company'. I'm not asking any questions.



Buying gifts for my mother can be tough but I'll tell you this; I will not buy her any more tops! This fall I found a pretty shirt with a floral print on sale, and when I tried to give it to her she practically threw it back at me. "I hate flowered shirts." she stated. "But it's so pretty," I pleaded, "and it has a scooped neck (she can't tolerate a high neckline) and three quarter length sleeves." "I hate three quarter length sleeves!" she sneered.

"And that hideous stained gray t-shirt you're wearing is the height of fashion?" I wanted to ask, but didn't!

Anyway, today, I had a new (much needed) shower curtain, bath mat, toilet lid cover etc...for her bathroom in my arms when I realized that I would probably get the same reaction that my sister did the time she bought Mom a new silverware tray for her kitchen.

Total indignation.

So I put it all back and ended with some new bath towels (who doesn't mind getting those), and then I made her a couple of pot holders, and a little pouch for her new digital camera.

That's it.

So tomorrow while Hans is at a friend's house playing poker, I'll be at my mother's, trying to keep the conversation away from Jesse Ventura's latest conspiracy theories, wishing I could have a drink, and feeling guilty about everything I've done since I was a toddler.



But have no fear! If any of my kids ever offer me a floral print shirt with three quarter length sleeves, I'll act like it's the greatest gift I've ever received.

After all I know who's going to be picking out my nursing home!