Haven't we all, at one time or another, said or done, something completely inappropriately?
Like ask someone when she's due, and she isn't even pregnant?
Or send a scathing letter to a business (like my girlfriend did) about the poor service she received and then name the wrong employee in the complaint?
I recently went back home to get my hair cut and colored, but my beautician was going to be out of town, and she asked would I mind if her sister did it instead.
No problem, I've known all of them forever and I actually worked with their mother for several years.
Now this is a family of three women who are the sweetest people you'll ever meet, but they share a gene that causes them to say and do things, that in retrospect, are just awful!
And while they know it, they just can't help it.
My three hour appointment was spent laughing myself silly at the stories Sister Judy shared with me. Some examples:
The time Judy (who is from a very small town) went to the local funeral home for a viewing. She spent a great deal of time visiting with neighbors and acquaintances as she worked her way through the reception line, but when she got to the casket she blurted out, "Oh my gosh, I don't know this person, who is it?"
She was at the wrong funeral home.
Judy once ran into someone who had a very odd last name and she said, "Oh I remember graduating with So-and-So who has the same last name as you!" "That's my sister," stated the lady. "Oh, what ever happened to that baby she had when we were in High School?" Judy asked. The lady said, "I'm that baby, my grandmother raised me and my mother became my sister."
But guess what? It gets better.
Back in the day, we all used to order our birthday cakes etc... from a handful of local ladies who baked and decorated cakes from their homes. We all had our favorite bakers, and Kathy (Judy's sister, and my beautician) had placed an order with her particular cake lady, and she was to pick it up in the late afternoon. This was during a time right after three devastating tornadoes had ripped through three of our small towns within minutes of each other. The results had been deadly, many people died, and we all knew or worked with someone affected by them.
Anyway, Kathy's mom heard the tornado warning come over the radio and it was in the area where Kathy was to pick up her cake. In a panic Kathy's mom felt it her mission to call the cake lady in order to warn her about the coming tornado.
The lady had no idea who Kathy's mother was.
Kathy's mom once again went over the details and the cake lady said, "Your daughter didn't order a cake from me.
"That's when Kathy's mother realized she'd called the wrong lady. "Oh thank God!" She exclaimed, "I never liked your cakes anyway!"
At dinner time that night, I tried to tell Hans all the stories I had heard. But when I got to the cake episode tears were running down my face, I started squeaking, and I was literally lying across the kitchen table. Hans got that 'deer in the headlights' look and I think he may have feared for my sanity.
Holidays can be stressful (how well I remember the Christmas Eve I spent alone while my kids were with their dad and his girlfriend!), so I'd like to approach this season with some humor.
Leave a comment on this post and the winner will receive a wine bag made by me. I'd love it if you would share something you've said or done that was sooooo bad, you still cringe! Or maybe you've heard a horrible story from someone else.
Even if you don't have a story just leave a comment that you want in on the contest.
I'm pretty easy!
The winner receives one of these wine totes. Either the wine cask theme or the kitty. You choose!
It can hold two wine bottles. Or you can use it as a lunch tote, although it's not insulated.
Actually you could put your knitting supplies in it too. Or maybe a pair of shoes!!
How about bubble bath on one side and a big candle on the other.
It has a seam that's sewn halfway up from the bottom that creates a kind of division in the bag. This is what keeps bottles from clanking together.
This is what it looks like on the bottom. It's pleated so it will stand up easily.
Here's the kitty version.
This is what it looks like when empty.
It folds flat.
Leave a comment by Wednesday, December 9th at 12:00 PM (lunch time) EST in the U.S.
The Countess von Chlorox will make a decision that evening and she's looking forward to it.
This month I'm suffering from one of the worst PMS episodes I've ever experienced (last night I found myself furious at Hans because he doesn't share the same taste in movies as me! His comment to me; "I can't wait for you to find a use for those tampons!" Pretty harsh for Hans!!!!) and I need to laugh at something or I might end up in jail.
Make me laugh, please!!!!