If one were to eavesdrop in our little apartment here in The Big City....
Me: Oh My God, To Kill a Mockingbird is on and it's one of my favorite movies, is it okay if we watch it?
Hans (intent on an Internet poker game): Uh-huh.
20 minutes later.
Me (all misty eyed): God, I love this movie and just look at Gregory Peck, isn't he wonderful?
Hans: Uh-huh. I can't believe this! Some bozo has put me all in and he has to know I have the winning hand.
Me: Did you ever see this movie?
Hans: What movie?
Me: To Kill a Mockingbird!!!!
Hans: Oh yeah.
Me (during the courtroom scene): Did you see that??? Did you see that??? Imagine treating people that way!!
Me: Did you ever read the book? I must have read it a million times.
Hans: Uh-huh. What's on now?
Me: TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD!!!!!!
Hans: It's still on?
Me: Hans!!! Where the hell have you been?
Hans: Well, I'm kind of involved in this poker game.
A few minutes later.
Me (jumping up from the futon): Oh shit! I forgot to pack a lunch for work tomorrow and we don't have anything to eat in the apartment!
Hans: Uh-huh. Oh, C'mon!!! Who goes all in with a three and ten unsuited?
Me (rooting through the refrigerator): Hey, here's the turkey breast you couldn't find this morning for your lunch!! Ha-Ha! I'm going to use it for a turkey, salami, and cheese sandwich for my lunch tomorrow!
Hans: You found the turkey breast? Can I have a piece of cheese?
Me (with a mouthful of the turkey breast that in my opinion smells funny): Yeah, but it smells funny, do you think it's ok?
Hans: It's fine.
Me (on the verge of swallowing the funny turkey breast): You think it's ok?
Hans: Sure, cheese doesn't go bad.
Me (shouting around half swallowed turkey breast): I'm talking about the turkey breast!
Hans: Oh, I wouldn't trust the turkey breast.
Me (spitting out what I hadn't swallowed): Hans! What the hell do you think I'm talking about?
Hans: The cheese.
Me: Oh God, I hope I don't get food poisoning! I have to work tomorrow!! I hope I've drank enough bourbon to kill the germs.
Hans (with a thoughtful look at his can of beer): Does alcohol kill germs? Because I never get sick.
Back to the living room.
Me: Here's the part where Boo Radley comes out of nowhere and stabs the bastard that was after Gregory Peck's kids!
Hans: What are we watching now?
Me: OH MY GOD!!!! TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD!!!
Hans: It's still on? Because I don't remember this part.
And folks, you've just been treated to a typical evening in our little apartment here in The Big City.
And this happens pretty much every night.
Imagine how much fun we'll be in the nursing home.