Friday, March 21, 2008

Oh where, oh where, has my little girl gone?

I want to know how I'm supposed to get any sewing done when I'm spending all of my time settling fights and searching for a sick cat.

Chlorox came home from the vet clinic/spa on Wednesday night. She has a gaping incision from her chin to her neck where the 'bad' stuff was released. (We're telling everyone it was an abscess and hope that The Enquirer doesn't find out it was really a face lift!). She's to take liquid antibiotics twice a day for one week and have cream (in a very pretty shade of icy blue) spread over the incision, also twice a day.I've always said that if Chlorox had been born a human, she would be very beautiful and very dumb. In other words, every man's dream.

But, dumb as she may be, she's come to realize quickly, that I'm the medicine lady. I know, because when I came home for lunch today she was nowhere to be found, but I knew it would come to this. She knows that as soon as I grab her she's going to have her head yanked back and medicine squirted into her throat and even though she actually likes the icy blue cream on her sore neck, she doesn't like being held down.

Last night I finally let her out of my basement bathroom (where I kept her for one day for her own protection) and The Beast greeted her with many hisses. This is because Chlorox has arrived home smelling of 'the bad place' and this is cause for great concern. Years (and different cats) ago, this happened to me so I'm not too awfully surprised as animals rely a lot more on smell than sight.

But my Beast is quite a talented cat because apparently she's also a ventriloquist.

When most cats hiss, they hunch their backs and double their tails in size and it can be a very dramatic display. Well, Chlorox had timidly crawled into the kitchen and looked all around with wild eyes, unsure of what may have happened in her absence when The Beast strolled in. At that point I started looking around because it sounded like something was leaking and then I realized that The Beast was hissing.

It went something like this:

Waddle, waddle, waddle, hiss, hiss, hiss.
Waddle, waddle, waddle, hiss, hiss, hiss.

That cat is so fat, and lazy, that she can't do both at the same time and she also can't be bothered to arch her back.

Chlorox on the other hand, had had enough.

She let out a huge hiss and then hid under the china cabinet.

I smacked The Beast who hissed at me.

Then in true school yard bully fashion, she stomped down the steps to the family room where she sulked for the rest of the day.

I have no idea how I used to manage a household with three kids, a husband, laundry, full meals, cleaning, homework, kid's activities, etc... while holding down a full time job with routine overtime and still was able to make cute kid's clothes and Halloween costumes back in the bad old days and today I can't take care of 2 cats and a wonderful boyfriend.

I must be getting old.

But!!! On a brighter note, yesterday, after work I bought a gorgeous print and some coordinating background fabric from a local store that sells the most beautiful quilting fabric and now I hope I have something for Hans' brother's birthday.

I don't know how much you can see, but trust me it's beautiful and I have to kick it into high gear tomorrow! I still haven't said what I'm going to do with this but I'll post the results as soon as I get something done.


Angelia said...

Talk about cat fight!!!

Mary Witzl said...

I love your description of your cat!

Your sewing makes me envious: I cannot sew worth beans and whenever I've tried, I've ended up miserable. Be sure to check out Katie Alender's blog: she's a brilliant writer AND a fine seamstress. Nice, too, so you can't even hate her for this.

laura said...

Oh, I know all about Katie, her alter ego Mary Lou, and her dog Winston!

Katie Alender said...

Oh, go ON!

Mary Witzl said...

Oh God, how embarrassing. And I thought I was introducing two seamstresses. Still, it would have been worse if I'd written something nasty...

But I wouldn't have done that!

laura said...

Just like the song "It's a small world after all"!! Oh God, I hope that awful tune doesn't bounce around in my head all day.