sew at sea: From the desk of 'The Beast'.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

From the desk of 'The Beast'.

Although my given name is Blossom, for some reason, in this house I'm known as The Beast. Once someone even referred to me as Flower Pot, but I don't get the connection. Laura is far too busy sewing to pay attention to me so I'm going to use her computer for awhile.

Anyway, Laura held a garage sale (thinly disguised as a chance to show me off) this last Sunday.

Laura is the woman who owns the house.

I own Laura.

We had so much fun! Prospective buyers showed up about 2 hours ahead of time and when Laura was still taking things into the garage, she was alarmed to find people peering, via cupped hands, through her garage door window. I don't know what her problem was! Obviously they were trying to get a look at me!

So while Laura hysterically fled the garage and went to find that guy she calls her boyfriend (I think his name is Hans) I gave the public exactly what they wanted. I delicately wove and sashayed my way through all the junk she was trying to sell and knowing that you should leave your audience wanting more, I exited the garage, but not before I sharpened my imaginary claws on the cement, all the while sticking my dirty behind in the air for all to see (that's my specialty!).

Finally the garage door was lifted and a wave of humanity washed through and I immediately shot out to the driveway. For some reason Laura won't let me outside! Something about cars, and raccoons, and my having no front claws (whose fault is that, I ask!) but all I know is the great outdoors is where I belong!

After a fashion things slowed down and Laura and Hans spent way too much time laughing about who knows what. All I know is everyone that came to this garage sale had wonderful things to say about me. "Wow, is that a fat cat!" "Is that cat pregnant or is she just fat?" "You know, olive oil would do wonders for her dandruff."
See what I mean?

I was having a lovely day when all of a sudden someone showed up with (gag) a dog! It was a toy Pomeranian named Stinky and when Hans tried to pet him, he tried to bite Hans. His owners let Stinky down and he ran straight into Laura's house. "Don't you pee in there!" The owners chuckled. After many uninvited trips into the house, Stinky tried to approach me and I was absolutely appalled, but a quick hiss sent him on his way!

By the end of the day I was exhausted! I greeted people, I rubbed against the nicer ones, I preened and posed, and I asked to be let in often to eat because I'm in danger of wasting away.

A lot of stuff was sold but a lot of stuff was left over and Laura told Hans that she's going to have to do this again before summer is over

I can't wait!