Sunday, November 1, 2009

Introducing Cousin Helga

What a whirl wind weekend!

Cousin Helga blew in from Germany with one thing on her mind.

"Find me ze man!" She bellowed.

So I dressed her up and back to my hometown we went. Helga is pretty outgoing and boisterous so I very politely tried to convince her that ladylike behavior might work in her best interest.

Here she is. Cousin Helga dressed up for the evening.

My, what strong legs she has. And a great personality too!

I thought it would make her feel better if I dressed like someone from the old country too.

I love the way the lighting makes my vest looked like it's strained to the nth degree!!

This big Scotsman already had a date but he wouldn't leave Helga alone! "Where's my big boned gal!" He would cry and then he and Helga would belly slam each other. This went on far too many times and left me standing on the side lines.

Helga enjoying a liquid refreshment.

The ladies were far too eager to adjust Helga's bosoms after she vulgarly announced, "Ze airlines, zey take my brassiere! Zey say it was for zecurity issues!"

Helga tried to reciprocate and adjust the other ladies bosoms, but I made her stop!

The DJ started some Shania Twain music and this is what Helga looked like after shouting, "I feel like ze voman!" and hitting the dance floor. She has quite a dance repertoire ranging from can-can to seductive apron swishing.

Everyone watched her with amazement.

Even though Helga has led a sheltered life she is one of those girls born with that inner feminine knowledge. You know what I mean? The kind who know when to toss their hair, even if it's not out of place, all night long!

By the end of the night I had long quit worrying about whether Helga would be popular or not and realized I hadn't felt like such a wallflower since High School!

My main job of the evening.

Adjusting Helga's outfit!

Modesty you know!

Helga showing her appreciation for the lovely evening.

Now I know what Dr. Frankenstein felt like!

I've created a monster!!!!!


KusZ - Jewelry and more said...

This is hilarious... I love your humor.
Give Helga my regards...

laura said...

I will! She won't want to go home if all this attention continues!

Angelia said...

lololol!!!! You guys are sooo cute! I wish there were fun couples like y'all down here!

Mary Witzl said...

I feel SO gullible. I didn't twig that Helga was really your guy until that very last picture. Though having written that, I don't think Hans would fool anybody in San Francisco. (The Scotsman knew, right?)

laura said...

OMG Mary, I'm cracking up!! Believe me, everyone including the Scotsman knew that Helga was a man (at least I think so), and wouldn't it be scary if he'd really been a she?? Not a real pretty sight.

Katie Alender said...

Helga is one hot mutter! That is too funny, Laura.