Thursday, February 4, 2010

"What a world, what a world!"

Anyone recognize that quote?

It's been one of those days.

It started when I woke up in an absolute sweat after what seemed like an all night long dream about being in labor. In my dream I was all of a sudden 9 months pregnant, in labor, and belatedly realized that I hadn't been to the doctor for any prenatal checkups.

Smooth move for an almost 50 year old woman.

I also walked through the snow in bare feet to the car in order for Hans to take me to the hospital.

Hans told me my ex husband had better pay for half of my doctor bill (??!!).

At the hospital there were nurses everywhere but they were all sitting around and doing nothing (where the hell did that come from, because in my opinion nurses are overworked and underpaid!).

The only way I could get comfortable was to get on my hands and knees on the cold hospital floor and breath deeply.

When I asked if I couldn't please have a bed, one of the nurses brought me a blanket.

My contractions stopped and I went home.

I wondered if I was ever going to have this baby.

Then I woke up.

With cramps so bad it felt like a chain saw was roaring through my lower back!

Why can't I find a doctor who will rip out my uterus?

Anyway, since there was no way I could go to the gym (tomorrow will be a 'no go' too but I'll leave out the gruesome details) I zipped off to the grocery store and got into a fight.

I was in the middle of the store and I could feel my face turn red when I actually resorted to kicking and swearing.

I bet that shopping cart rues the day it tangled with me because I'm on to the old "my front wheel is frozen" routine and I just wasn't putting up with it today!

Baby Girl called and is under the impression I should attend spring break with her and her college lacrosse team.

My son (who is 26) called and said Baby Girl told him I'm going on spring break, and if I go, he'll go as he needs to use up some vacation time before April.

I've never been on spring break and I'm not sure it's a real good idea.

My mother called to let me know her neighbor (and very dear friend), and someone I used to baby sit for, died during the night and Mom found out about it at a township meeting this morning. What really has me pissed is this woman's children hadn't notified a soul of her death, and her own grandchildren didn't know she was gone but by God the township knew! I think someone at the hospital has a big mouth and I'm calling Mom back tomorrow and putting her on the trail (so there!)!

I tried to work on a purse for a little girl and sewed the facing in upside down.

I fixed that problem, installed the handles, and realized they looked like sh*t.

They've been ripped out and maybe I'll fix them tomorrow.

Hans went to 'band practice' tonight. Way back in the day he played keyboard in a punk rock band and now a friend of his has a strong desire to play music IN A BAR!!!!!! like it's some kind of exciting thing, and he's recruited Hans and a couple of other buddies to make his dream come true!

I'm just not up to someone elses mid life crisis right now!

So the quote, "What a world, what a world!" is from The Wicked Witch of the West and she says this at the end of The Wizard of Oz.

Right now she's my hero.


Kathi D said...

I can not add one thing to that tale. Good lord!

marysews said...

I can't answer for your weird dream, or even for your kids. You might want to be on the trail for the old lady who died - the word getting out that way "might" be a HIPAA violation...

Get a good rest, and hope tomorrow is much better!

laura said...

Kathi, I didn't need anything else that's for sure.

Mary, I hope whoever spread the word gets called on the carpet Big Time!