She might not be pretty but she has a great personality!

That's how I will describe my latest creation. And if she's not pretty it's all my fault.

That's because I can just never leave well enough alone! I recently saw a really cool bag at one of the houses I clean. Now mind you I see a lot of bags and purses during my work day but I have to contain myself and not pick them up and examine them more closely.

I mean how would that look??!! Can you imagine catching your cleaning lady inspecting your belongings???

Anyway the bag that sparked me on this venture sure as hell didn't look like what I ended up with. What I originally saw was a bag that had big pockets on the front, and they held a pair of shoes. It was made of a durable canvas like fabric and I'm sure (ALTHOUGH I DID NOT LOOK) that the inside had a couple of functional pockets.

So I got to thinking and decided that more pockets on the outside equalled a better purse.

And then I cut into my good fabric and created a monster.


Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No! It's a purse of super freak dimensions!!!!

I thought putting the shoe pockets on the sides was a brilliant idea.


It wasn't.


Can you see how stupid it ended up looking?



There are small pleated pockets on the front (for my phone or ipod etc...) and a flap covers them. They aren't so bad.












This is the view looking straight down from the top. It's the biggest zipper gusset I've ever seen.

















This is what the side pockets look like with no shoes in them. I added buttons to hold them closed (and if I ever ditch this purse those buttons will come off; they're antique bakelite, and probably worth a couple of dollars).





My original plan was to just put elastic in the top of the pockets (I wish I had) but then I went and used some bias tape so that plan went straight out the window!








The front flap is lifted in this view and you can see the side pockets here too.

I did use a layer of Insul-brite in this bag in an effort to make it more user friendly for carrying my lunches and keeping them hot or cold.
















Here's my snazzy little wallet. I realize the mint green zipper doesn't match the blue theme going on here, but it matched the fabric and at this point that's good enough for me!



Overall, I'm very disappointed in myself but I needed a good work bag and while this will do the trick I'll never make another one.



Live and learn is my motto and maybe when I'm 90 years old I'll have things figured out.

Someone's wubbin' me the wong way!!!!!

Dear God!!! I told Hans that all I blog about are purses and snow! So I've decided to change course tonight and take a trip down memory lane.


Have any of you seen the new Geico commercial featuring Elmer Fudd?

Well, Hans has taken to talking like him now and then, just to get a rise out of me.

This is because the first time I saw the commercial, he almost had to peel me off the ceiling.

You see, once upon a time I worked with Elmer Fudd, well not really Elmer Fudd, but close enough.

And in no way was it fun.

Anyway it was over twenty years ago, and I was employed at a very chauvinistic utility company doing 'mens' work at 'womens' wages. Meaning my coworker and I were vastly underpaid.

We had recently acquired an independent company from way out in the sticks (I've often said I thought a woodchuck was their mayor) and I'd been warned that the chief engineer from this company was an Elmer Fudd clone.

I took this information with a grain of salt as I did with everything I heard in the churning gossip mill of my workplace. Here are some examples: From the men in my office on any visitor of the female persuasion, "She's so hot!!!!" translated into, "She weighs under 200 pounds."
From the women on male visitors who weren't decked out in flannel shirts, "He's gorgeous!!!" meant, "He wears a suit, yet reeks of sweat and cigarettes."

But I have to admit I was grateful for the warning because the day finally arrived when Elmer Fudd 'aka' Rich (Wich) entered the picture.

And he brought his wife.

I was at my desk and very intent over the engineering prints that I interpreted on a daily basis when I felt a presence beside me.

I looked up and there stood someone I'd never met. This someone was wearing a moss green leisure suit (I hadn't seen one of those since my junior prom some 20 years before), a green work shirt (similar to what my dad wore to the construction site) and a thick white knit tie that bore an uncomfortable resemblance to a neck brace.

I was puzzled as I worked in a building where 'employees only' entered and we seldom received visitors.

Then neck brace man said, "My name's Wich, and I'm the new Enguneeaw (engineer) fwum Widgewund (Ridgeland). (OMG what is it with me and people who can't pronounce their 'R's?)

I felt my face go scarlet and I was immediately thankful a thousand times over that I'd been warned about Wich or I may have thought this whole thing was a colossal joke and actually laughed in his face.

While I frantically collected my thoughts, Wich introduced his very tall wife Sawwy (Sally), who looked like she'd gone zing zing zing around her mouth with her fuchsia lipstick as it was not only on her lips but on her teeth, and on the skin around the entire perimeter of her mouth. And thanks to the too short length of her skirt I had to force my eyes away from her legs as she had some of the worst varicose veins I'd ever seen (I met her one more time and that story may turn into a future post).

After a shaky hello I learned that not only had Wich gone to cowwege and got a degwee in enginewwing, but that his wife was tall, her brothers were tall, her father was tall ,and all of them (with the exception of Sawwy who was still breathing) had to have their caskets custom made to accommodate their excessive length.


By the time they left my desk I was a sweaty mess and my head was pounding.

But I grew to hate Wich.

With a vengeance.

Wich's salary was about three times as much as mine.

He didn't know what he was doing, but what the hell! As long as I did his job for him, who cared?

And that's not an exaggeration.

There were 'rumors' that Wich had been in 'intelligence' during The War.

I immediately put the kibosh to that as the only war Wich was age worthy of was the Vietnam War and he'd have been around twenty when it ended. I seriously doubt he was even potty trained by then.

"Wich has the mind of a steel trap." This from one of the men in the 'field' who loved Wich (and hated me) because with Wich at the helm, the men in the field used to be able to run amok, do what they pleased, and no one knew the difference.

"That trap rusted shut along time ago!" I shouted at this particular red neck.

But one day I finally figured it out.

Wich wasn't brilliant and Wich wasn't intelligent (I'll never forget the time he told me his pwegnant daughter was due on the thootieth or thooty foost of Febuawwy!).

Not in the least.

But luckily for good old Wich, his grandmother owned the utility that was bought by my company. You see, back in the 90's someone realized there was money to be made in communications and deregulation, and all of a sudden we were all out for progress.

Tiny companies, run by tiny families couldn't even begin to meet PUC (public utility commission) standards and had to sell out to the Big Boys. These little families suddenly found themselves wealthy beyond belief when they were each bought out for a million dollars!!!

A million dollars to people who strung wires through trees and kept pigs in the backyard.

But wouldn't you know it would be my luck that some damned grandmother would figure out that her grandson Wich wouldn't be able to get a job wiping his own butt, so she specified: "You can buy my antiquated wires but you must promise my grandson Wich (the stupidest man on the face of the earth) a job for life (and at a horribly inflated wage) or I will hold out for more money!

Well in the winter of 1999 my department went south (literally) and I lost my job.

But guess who didn't.

That wascially wabbit!!!!!

A new shirt and a new job

I'm growing weary of purse sewing, even though I've got a lot of new ideas floating around in my head.
But anyway I took a break from purses and decided to try the very popular (according to Pattern Review) Simplicity 4076.

I don't have a picture of the wrap style top I made yesterday (It's in the washer, but I'll get to it tomorrow) but I do know that I'll have to cut a smaller size. I made a size 10 but it sags across the back of my neck and just looks a bit big. That's ok though since it's comfortable.

Here is the twisted front view. It's also a size 10 but it fits a lot better than the crossover version. I may use a size 8 on the back for the next one though because I had to yank up the shoulder seams by about a half inch.


This is why I love a busy print. It's very forgiving!

(Ignore the air conditioner and garbage can in the background, just more fun Big City living)



Recognize the print? I used the remnants from this dress. What's nice is that this top requires very little fabric!


I'm a little dismayed at this view. My almost 5o years are starting to show. Saggy arms and a big butt are taking over. I run 3 miles a day but I could really be doing a bit more! I have a Pilate's chair but never use it because it's boring. I think I'll get it back out and use it. I have no excuse!







Now for the big news! Tonight I filled out the official forms for a background check for the job I want. Hold on to your hats! I'm embarking on a career of house cleaning!

You heard me, house cleaning.


And I'm very excited.


All of my life I've worked in an office and was told by everyone at my first job (when I was 18)that I had a job for life. Well, life has a funny way of not working out the way we think it should, I remember getting married and thinking that was for life too (although life sentence would be more like it, but I won't go there). Ten years ago (after having lost that stupid 'job for life') I ended up in a low paying office job and had to add waitressing to my evenings and weekends in order to survive.

Now I'm in the Big City and need a job but I'm burnt out on waitressing and the only good shifts are nights and weekends. If I wanted to do that I would have just stayed back in my swamp town.

I hate to have to start all over in an office and end up being the low woman on the totem pole.
At a new office job I don't want to figure out :
Who the resident back stabber is (while smiling in your face); Who shares a juicy piece of gossip and then tells everyone you're the one who said it; Who wants to be the boss, will never be the boss, and therefor bosses you around.
You get the idea.

I think it's wonderful that I don't have to be trapped in a conventional job and I'm very fortunate to be able to take a side trip off the main highway of life in my effort to earn a living.


Last winter I read about this small cleaning company and something just clicked with me so I emailed them, telling them that I would be coming to The Big City this year and would be interested in working for them. Imagine how surprised I was when they contacted me last month and asked if I was still available! I want a physical job (ie: big butt in above picture), I don't want to work in an office, and I would love Monday through Friday with no evenings or weekends. What better job than house cleaning!

But of course I never do anything the easy way. Last week we met at my local Starbucks for my interview and we agreed to meet there again tonight to finalize my paperwork.


I got there exactly on time but no one was there to meet me.


I ordered a horribly fat, double chocolate whip cream topped concoction, and proceeded to drip it down the front of my shirt.


After a few minutes of waiting, I agonized and tormented myself by wondering if I'd gotten the day wrong, or heaven forbid the time wrong. Maybe I was supposed to be there at seven and not seven thirty, maybe they'd waited for so long and decided I was a no show and a total loser and left. Maybe....


But by now with the chocolate stains all over my yellow t-shirt I half hoped that I was right and that I wouldn't wouldn't be seeing them after all.


I called Hans and asked him to look at the table where I keep my computer and see if he could find the note I'd written to myself about the meeting. He found many notes but nothing that could help me, and then I saw my future employer literally running down the sidewalk.


She was very apologetic (stuck behind traffic, ambulances, trains, etc... welcome to The Big City!), and thought the chocolate on my shirt was funny.



Anyway next Tuesday will see me helping her clean two houses.


I'm moving on up!


And I was relieved to find, upon checking my reflection in the mirrored visor of my vehicle after our meeting, that I did not have a tell tale chocolate ring around my mouth.


Heavens no! That's never happened to me!

A mixed bag of goods!

Hans and I are headed to the boat in Annapolis this weekend, along with three of Hans' hockey buddies who soooo want to sail.

And I told myself that I had no right, absolutely no right, to not have a proper shower bag!

We have two full heads on the boat but when we're at dock we figure that since we're paying a huge slip fee maybe we should use the club's shower facilities.

And you wouldn't believe how many times at this club, that I've jumped into a shower (usually the only one with no hot water and only a small spit of water!) and realized that I left some very important item on the boat (ie: shaving creme, razors, or God forbid: shampoo!) and swear that someday I'll make THE PERFECT BAG FOR THIS STUFF!!!!!!!!

Well, this isn't the perfect bag but it's a start.

As usual I will not make a first bag out of good fabric so I dug out a blue jean curtain panel that I found at the Good Will for $2.00 and even though it was huge I still had to find some co-ordinating fabric and wouldn't you know, it happened to be a cat print!

Can you see that Chlorox, my Knotty Cat, felt the need to be involved.

(Read: Very Needy)

The panel was something like 45 inches by about 70 inches.



But it wasn't enough.

I cut out most of the bag, which was Simplicity, but don't ask me which one (bourbon, you know!) and had to dig into my quilt fabric stash and found the cat stuff for the lining. Thank God I had enough.

Here are the entrails of the curtain.



I ended up using the 70" side seams for the handles on the bag. I agonized about going to our local JoAnn's for webbing, which would have meant about a two hour round trip during rush hour (it's only about 10 miles away too) and said the hell with it!!

It took more time to lay out this pattern than it did to sew it.

I kid you not!


This seemed like a good place to hang my bag. It's Hans' mother's clock.


See all the pockets? Can you see these being used for shampoo, soap, makeup (not that I need it!), curling irons etc...








Kitty Cat lining.

No snaps.

No Velcro.

Because I didn't want to!!!!










Sitting on my ironing board.











Just another view.



This will be made again, only the next time it will be to my specifications!!



But for now it will work.



AND!

I need to get a job.

A real job.

Sewing is really only fun when you have to fit it into your day.

Believe me on this.

And anyway there are these things called 'bills' that need to be paid.

No kidding.

Last month I contacted a GREEN house keeping company here in the Big City and expressed my interest in working for them.

Didn't hear from them.

Contacted a dog walking service a couple of days ago.

Didn't hear from them.

Well tonight I got an email asking if I still wanted a job.

But it was only after I set up an interview with them that I realized it was the house keeping people and not the dog walking people!

Aren't you glad I didn't answer the ad for the brain surgeon?