Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig...

...Home Again Home Again I Feel Like a Pig!!

We're currently in Toronto awaiting our flight home so I'm taking advantage of FREE WI FI to write this post. I'm also drinking my bourbon with a THOUSAND ICE CUBES and loving every second of it.

Anyway I could post tons of pictures of the Changing of the Guard, The Thames, Buckingham Palace (but not The Queen! That bitch new we were coming and left the country! I kid you not!), and on and on. But if you want to see those things I'm sure the internet has much better photos than I'll ever be able to take.

So I'll bore you with these.







Hans the Orator at the Speakers' Corner in Hyde Park.

The only audience besides me was a homeless/drunk man and I don't think either of us fully appreciated Hans' latest diatribe about our current state of affairs.

Greenwich Mean Time.

Hans actually had me going for a minute when he told me the line was six inches 'off'!

I hate it when he does that to me!








The weather this weekend was stupendous!!! Completely cloudless sunny skies!

In London!!!!!!

No kidding.





While Hans went to check on where our 'ghost tour' was to take place, I finally broke down and stuck one foot in the fountain in Trafalgar Square. Then next day I wore a bandage across my instep where the flipflop was just digging in!

A trip to London wouldn't be complete without a trip to Harrod's.
I saw thin cotton shirts for 250 pounds! And I'm sure they were cheap. I laughed at one ugly dress that I wouldn't pay ten bucks for at K-Mart and it was around 300 pounds!!

There was one clothing area that was 'appointment only' and I saw a very bored man sitting there waiting for his high maintenance wife/mistress.

We ended up with a piece of carrot cake and a brownie, and ate half of it during our walk through Hyde Park.


After walking for hours we stumbled upon the Princess Diana Memorial Fountain.

There's almost no signage and we were there forever before we figure it out!

If you really check this picture you can see that those bumps the kids are playing on are cement. Honestly! Cement with rushing water! I thought it looked horribly dangerous!

But once again I took advantage. This was day two of a lot of walking and my feet were killing me.

Hans joined in too.

Here's a pretty dog I saw in Hyde Park. When I asked the owner if it was a Pit Bull she said no.

She then said it was a Bull Mastiff and while the dog was friendly, the owner was not!

I'm still a little vague on the legality of some dog breeds in the UK and maybe she didn't want to be questioned!

Another dog near our hotel. I'm pretty sure it was a bully breed too.

I didn't ask!

Just up the block from our hotel was a very nice pub. We ate there at least three times.

This was Sunday (our last day) and we were so tired we never even bothered going back into London.

This is the burger that Hans had at the pub.

Double meat burger with cheese, sausage, and two eggs!!!! Along with chips!

This is why we really need to get home!! I never cook like this at the apartment.

Breakfast yesterday morning in our room.

The last of the Harrod's cakes, and coffee.

I see the Jack Daniels bottle made it into the picture but I saved it for later.

I finally got a picture of me in my Burda dress. It really did turn out nice and I hope I get to wear it again soon before I outgrow it!!

Communicating whilst one is away

How on earth did people travel abroad before the advent of cell phones or laptops.

Honest to God, we've been emailed, texted, and called ever since we left home, and only a few were actually necessary or relevant. I myself warned my kids that they were only allowed to call (or text) us in the event of an emergency. Emails were ok but they also had to understand I might not get them for a day or so.

This is what's gone on so far this trip.

An email from Vet Tech Girl (who's caring for Wilbur): Wilbur threw up. He's probably excited about playing with Duncan. I'll clean it up.

An email from Baby Girl: Evi is very sick and at the hospital. So far the bill is $400.00. (Note: Baby Girl spells her cat's name Evi after Evgeny Malkin, a hockey player. I call the cat Evvy or Evelyn just to piss Baby Girl off). Hans wants to know what the hell kind of services cost $400.00. I tell him not to ask.

I zip off a quick email to Vet Tech Girl: Hans was talking to Nasty Neighbor the morning we were leaving and he warned us that he has poison all over his property because of raccoons. He also said he had to have his dog put to sleep because too many people in the neighborhood have gotten dogs (you know he meant us!) and his dog couldn't handle the stress!

Vet Tech Girl emails back that Wilbur is fine, Neighbor is an asshole, and she's sure that her roommate's dog Molly (who is a spoiled ankle biting screamer) is the one that upset poor Butterscotch the now dead dog! Also Duncan and Miley (Duncan's squeeze, a pretty little daschund) love Wilbur's big beef bone. They've left bone chips all over the place. She will clean it up.

I email Vet Tech Girl and warn her that Wilbur is only allowed to chew the beef bone on his pad.

Vet Tech Girl replies: He keeps it on the pad but Duncan and Miley don't. I'll clean up it up.

Baby Girl emails that her old boyfriend/stalker is going to put new brakes, rotors, wiper blades, and a headlight on our car in order to help it pass inspection, and am I willing to pay for it.

My answer: Only if he knows what he's doing and why on earth are you talking to him???

Last Friday Hans received two texts at the same time. One said, "We're at Evi's" and the next one said, "Evi died this morning."
Now here is a bit of a coincidence. You see, Hans' Aunt Eva goes by a nickname pronounced as Ayfee but is spelled Evi. Baby Girl's cat's name is spelled Evi so poor Hans almost had to sit down when Baby Girl deemed the death of Evi the Cat as Text worthy as opposed to Email worthy and sent her message at the same time Hans' Baby Brother sent his text as he wanted us to know he'd arrived at Aunt Evi's house.

I'm the only one who found this to be morbidly funny.

I did get a follow up email that an autopsy on Evi the Cat is being performed. I told Hans not to worry when he asked if autopsies are free.

A recent email from Vet Tech Girl went like this: What the hell have you been feeding Wilbur? He has the shits! I told you only 10% of his diet should be liver and you've got it at about 50%!!! I'll clean up the mess. BTW his beef bone is really starting to stink!! Signed, your loving daughter.

From me to Vet Tech Girl: Dear rotten ungrateful daughter, Wilbur never had the shits until you started watching him! Put the bone outside.

From Vet Tech Girl: Oops I have no idea how Wilbur got a hold of one of your sandals but I don't think anyone will notice the heel. I threw it in your bedroom. Sorry.

Me to Vet Tech Girl: I woke up this morning here in Germany and could have sworn Chlorox was walking on me (sometimes I get these premonitions). Would you please make sure she's still alive.

Vet Tech Girl to me: She's been screaming her head off, she's fine.

Vet Tech Girl again: Wilbur is a naughty boy. He thinks he's allowed to see what's on the counters. BTW, I've been diagnosed as bipolar and listed you as my emergency contact.

Me to Vet Tech Girl: When the hell did Wilbur get tall enough to counter surf?

Hans was concerned about the bipolar business. What did they call it before they had a name for it, he wanted to know. They called it being a bitch, was my reply and I'll deal with that nonsense when I get home.

I have to say though that this email is my favorite. It had no text, just this picture. That's Duncan, Wilbur, and the little lady on the bottom is Duncan's woman Miley. I only wish she hadn't used her flash as they all look possessed!

Years ago my best friend went on vacation to Aruba with her boyfriend. She told her kids that under no circumstances were they to call her. Even if they broke a leg, "It would be set before I could even get home anyway, SO DON'T YOU DARE CALL!"

I remember being very shocked and thought she was being callous but I have to say after this trip I'm in total agreement with her!!!

Oh no! Run everybody! She has more vacation pictures!

I promise only a few pictures will be posted; not all 77 that I've taken already.

This is a pub.

A real pub.

And I was so excited because something I've always wanted to do was visit a real English pub.

One of the business people that Hans is dealing with, got online and looked up Free House which is what real pubs are known as (?) and we found two. This one served food so that's why we chose it. I had venison and it was fabulous!!! There were real coal fireplaces in use and it was so nice to see people enjoying their meals while the family dog napped on their laps.

You won't see that in America.

Boats that are used as apartments are very commom. The bus we were on moved too quickly for me to get pictures of the flower pots, bicycles, even tables and chairs that people have scattered all over the tops of the boats just like it was a yard or a balcony.

This is one of many bike stores. Cambridge students are not allowed to have cars if they live within 5 miles of the university so therefor over 35,000 (!) bikes are used on a daily basis.

Check out the condition of the bike over the sign. Someone has a good sense of humor.

This is just one 'parking lot'.

I can't imagine trying to find my bike amongst all of these!

This sign was just too cute! I had to take a picture.

This is from the very fast bus tour that we took in London yesterday. Stephanie and I only had 4 hours in the city and we made the most of it. We may go back next week when we're in Oxford and really do it right. The bus tours are wonderful in that you can get off wherever you want and another bus will be along in 2o minutes and you just resume the tour. We would love to get off at Buckingham Palace (I just need to let the Queen know ahead of time so she can tidy up a bit and get our tea and crumpets ready), and take the Jack the Ripper tour, or visit the Tower of London. All of this can be done via bus and Thank God Stephanie figured out the subway maps so we got back to the train station in time to meet our poor working men who were waiting for us.

I liked this picture because fog gives pictures an intersting affect.

We arrived in Barcelona late last night and will be here for 3 days. Then we're off once again. However we will be back in England next week and Stephanie and I would love to spend a whole day and not just 4 hours in London. What a beautiful city and the citizens have been nothing but friendly and helpful!