Boat Sewing and a Good Citizenship Award.

First of all I want everyone to know that I'm doing my very best to be a good U.S. citizen (and NO! I don't mean I'm leaving the country so there will be one less idiot running around).

Today I voted.
And last week I had jury duty.

My voting experience went quite smoothly although for some reason there's a notation in the records that I 'need assistance'(?). This same thing happened to me last year when I voted in the primaries and I thought the situation had been resolved. So I filled out the necessary paperwork again and please note; one must leave one's sense of humor at home when voting. My, "Well, I'm a blond" response as a reason for needing assistance was met with stony silence.
They probably threw out my ballot.

Jury duty was a tiny bit more entertaining.  After watching a video and learning the rules of how to be a good juror we were given a small break before court commenced. Of course there was an immediate line outside the ladies room and at the head of it was a very large woman sitting importantly on her little rascal scooter. Turning to us she announced that she was going to check out the availability of stalls.  We all watched as she dismounted and on the tiniest feet (encased in little elfin slippers) I've ever seen on an adult she tottered to the door, opened it, took a gander and then boomed back to us, "STANDING ROOM ONLY! STANDING ROOM ONLY!"  Once she was re-seated she took her role as Potty Police to heart. While leaning dangerously far from her perch in order to get a better look, she yelled "CLOSE THE DOOR!" towards the men's room.
Potential jurors continued milling about and she scared the living daylights out of one gentleman when she shouted at him, "DO YOU NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM? SIR! I SAID DO YOU NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM?  I CAN SEE AN EMPTY SPOT IN THERE!"   "Um, no?" was his timid response. "WELL YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU NEEDED TO" she harrumphed. "CLOSE THE DOOR!" she demanded again as she swiveled around.
By now I and the lady in front of me were shaking from trying not to laugh. "Oh God, I know she'll end up on my panel." she groaned. "And guess who'll be the foreman." I answered.
Just then a lady exiting the bathroom informed us via raised eyebrows and a look of confusion that there were many stalls available.
Shortly thereafter my number was called and as I left the room I had to pass by the Potty Police.  She was busy scanning the room and clutched in her hands were a # 2 pencil (I haven't seen one of those in a long time) and a pad of paper.
No doubt keeping detailed accounts of our indiscretion's and toilet habits.

Here in Florida only 6 jurors are needed per trial and needless to say as one of the twenty two chosen to start, I was not picked or my day would have been a whole lot more interesting.



Anyway, on to some sewing. Two years ago I made slip covers for our settee.  I made them out of old king sized sheets left over from Hans' dad's estate.  They served their purpose quite well but were really getting worn out so I decided to make new ones.
I ended up getting some upholstery fabric on sale for a total cost of around $35.00.  I also recovered Wilbur's pillow in a blue and white stripe.  Of course it was only after I finished his pillow that I noticed a note in the selvage 'Dry Cleaning Recommended'.
Yes, I made a doggy pillow out of Dry Clean Only fabric.
Good news though, I washed it already and hung it up to dry and it's just fine.

 I will admit something here. The fabric on the  long cushions are only fitted on the top and sides. I actually have it pinned to the cushion in the back and on the bottom. Luckily it's working.

I'm glad I covered these starting way back when because you wouldn't believe how discolored they became from sweat and body oil, and of course the dog. The original cushions are still in good condition.

I would like these new covers to stay clean as I don't think I should be washing them all the time so I found this quilt at Home Goods for $29.00!! It's actually pretty nice and I don't mind if it gets dirty. I can throw it over my new covers on days that we are extra hot and sweaty which is basically all the time.  However, I do have to admit that someone threw a switch around the beginning of the month and we are now enjoying wonderful weather.

Oink Oink

Jury Duty

Hans is in Europe for two weeks and I'm still cleaning and emptying my house. Today I got to clean the inside of my Harvest Gold stove and considering the fact that I'm not much of a cook, I'd like to know how the inside got to be so filthy! I used up a whole can of oven cleaner, and don't be fooled by the deceptive 'no oder, fresh lemon scent' notation on the can! It smelled just like hot cat piss!

And I thought it might be nice to replace the burner rings and drip pans. Well guess what? My stove is an old Hot Point and you just try to find the right parts!

Anyway, the following was emailed to me and it brought back an old memory. It has nothing to do with sewing and I've never posted anything quite like it but it's true.

The first part of this post was emailed to me and I'm copying it here.
The second part of this post is a true jury duty story. I'll state here and before the second part of this post, that the contents could very well offend and upset some people (and it should), so just be warned.

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.



ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: You're kidding me, right!?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, is that correct?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice, which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a blood sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m..

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?______________________________________

--- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, he could have been alive and practicing law.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's the second part of the post.

Have you ever been selected for jury duty?
I have.
And I have to tell you that I took it very seriously as did all the other people who served with me. Deciding someones innocence or guilt is not anything to be taken lightly and, let me add, I hope to never be a witness at a trial! What those poor people at my trial were subjected to was humiliating.
Someday maybe I'll post about my own experience.

I'll warn you now that the following story contains subject matter and language that may offend some people but it is an absolutely true story.
Imagine how awful it would be to be chosen for a rape trial.
That's what happened to a friend of mine and here is her experience.
Basically, a woman claimed that an acquaintance of hers had abducted her, took her to a hotel, and raped her.
This is her testimony upon being interrogated by the accused man's defense attorney.

Attorney: So you're saying that after you got into Mr. Smith's car, he pulled a gun on you and told you he'd kill you if you didn't do what he said.
Victim: That's right.
Attorney: And then he took you to a bar, is that right?
Victim: That's right.
Attorney: When you were in the bar, were you at any time alone? Did Mr. Smith leave you at any time?
Victim: Well, he went to the bathroom.
Attorney: And where was the gun?
Victim: He left it in the car, in the glove compartment.
Attorney: So at that point Mr. Smith is in the bathroom, the gun is in the car, and you had ample opportunity to ask for help. Why didn't you?
Victim: I don't know.
Attorney: What happened next.
Victim: We went to get gas in the car.
Attorney: After Mr. Smith was done pumping gas in the car, what did he do?
Victim: Huh?
Attorney: I'm asking you if Mr. Smith paid for the gas? Or did he just leave and not pay?
Victim: No, he paid for it.
Attorney: And how did he pay for it?
Victim: He went inside and gave them the money. (This was before you could pay at the pump with credit cards)
Attorney: And where was the gun then?
Victim: Mr. Smith asked me to hold it while he went inside.

Silence while the jury got to digest this.

Attorney: So then where did you go?
Victim: We went to a hotel.
Attorney: And?
Victim: Mr. Smith told me to take my clothes off so I did.
Attorney: And then what happened?
Victim: He made me have sex with him.
Attorney: Did he talk to you?
Victim: Yes.
Attorney: What did he say?
Victim: He said, ' Squeeze my balls.'
Attorney: And did you?
Victim: NO I DID NOT!
Attorney: Did he say anything else to you?
Victim: Yes.
Attorney: What did he say?
Victim: He said, 'Squeeze them harder.'

And folks this actually went to trial.
I kid you not.