Another winner...

Ok, I promise. This is it folks! I won't torture you (or The Countess) any more this year with my silly contests!

Besides, I haven't even started my Christmas shopping yet and this could very well affect my popularity on the 25th.


Let me pause a moment to complain that I still have no camera-to-computer cord!!! The one we ordered finally arrived and it was the wrong one.

Big surprise!!

So I'm still digging through my archives in order to find usable pictures for my posts. I pray this doesn't continue much longer. My camera is just bulging with pictures and it may explode at any moment!




This was the reaction I got from the Countess when I mentioned that her contest choosing talents were needed yet once again.


She sulked, she pouted, she said we didn't pay her enough (excuse me!?), and then she finally made her choice.


But just to make sure we got her point, she left a 'present' in the form of a big pile of kitty poop for us, in the doorway to the kitchen.


Unfortunately for The Countess, Hans found her smelly 'present' before I did, and he's not as nearly understanding as me.



Let's just say that The Countess got knocked down a peg or two, and ended up spending the rest of the day hiding under our bed.





The Countess has wisely decided to clean up her act (thus avoiding the shelter) and is perusing my old Burda magazines.

She wants to make a dress.


Whatever.











Oh, BTW!!!! Mary from Sew Fast; you won the bag. Email an address to me where I can send it, and it will be on its way (my email is on my about me page)!

PS. While I'm at work tomorrow, scrubbing toilets etc... I've asked (begged, implored, threatened) Hans to get please go (get out of the apartment, unshackle himself from his computer and Internet poker, put some clothes on) to Radio Shack and get me a proper cord for my camera-to-computer so that I can download pictures. This way I won't be upset (furious, foaming at the mouth, mad beyond words) since it's been eons since I've been able to perform this function.

Don't worry, I said it with a smile.

Oh what the heck, one more contest before Christmas!

Today is Vet Tech Girl's twenty third birthday.

Of the three times I was in the hospital having babies, this one was my favorite. Her birth was a thousand times easier than my son's and I was up and walking in just a few hours. My mother brought in a huge tray of her homemade cookies, and doctors and nurses would drop by all day long to pick out their favorite. It was Christmas time, everyone was in a very festive mood, and my roommate was a friend of mine who'd also been in my Lamaze class.

As a matter of fact we ended up with about four of us from Lamaze in the hospital at the same time and we had a ball! This was when you actually stayed in the hospital for more than a few hours after giving birth. Heck, three years earlier I was in for five days when my son was born.

And even though Vet Tech Girl was Ugly Baby Girl, I still loved her to pieces!

Don't worry! She's a beautiful girl now but I wasn't so blind as to not be able to see that she was an ugly baby then!

She had what are referred to as 'stork bites'. One was between her eyebrows which is a common area. One on the back of her neck at the base of her head, and she had a huge one on her tail bone that scared the heck out of me! The one on her tail bone is the only one that didn't go away but it did end up fading a lot.

She had broken blood vessels all over her face and even in her eyes. And speaking of eyes; hers seemed to work independently of each other which was very disconcerting because oddly, they reminded me of pin ball machines!

I will never forget when my roommate's husband came in our room one night. Their baby was a little pink dream with blond hair (She's still pretty, she ended up with black hair, and I can't believe she's now a young mother herself!) We both had our babies and Husband came over to me and said "Oh, let me see the baby." I pulled the blanket away from Ugly Baby's face and he stopped in his tracks, cleared his throat and said, "Well, isn't she nice."

I laughed at his reaction and told him I knew she was ugly and I didn't care.

Our girls ended up in school together and my daughter, who started out with pitch black hair, ended up becoming a very pretty, black eyed blond.

My other daughter has coppery brown eyes and blond hair, and I'm also a brown eyed blond but Vet Tech girl's eyes really are almost black.

But anyway, everything was rosy back then and babies are sweet but... twenty three years ago I certainly never envisioned this; opening my mail today and reading a letter complaining about a past due account and how the bank is very upset with me, and that they want a payment now....blah, blah, blah!

Because that's what I get for co-signing a student loan!

Vet Tech Girl's birthday present from me is getting the bank off her butt!!

And I thought stork bites were bad!

Parenthood is not for the weak at heart. It really isn't. Here is one of my earlier posts on this subject.

So, what the heck, let's celebrate my daughter's birthday with one more contest.



This is a bag of my own design.

Now keep in mind that it's just a fun bag, something to take out to lunch or dinner. It only has one magnetic snap to keep it closed so it's not very secure.













Although you can use it as a wine bag. We have a french restaurant we love to go to and you have to bring your own wine. This would work for something like that.

BTW, the wine is not included!

Anyway I'd like to get this in the mail before Christmas so I'm going to have a deadline of Tuesday, December 15, at 5:00 PM EST here in the US.

What do you have to do?? Go ahead and just leave a comment that you'd like a chance to win.

If you have a birthday story, or a baby story that's different or funny by all means please share it!!

Keep in mind if you're outside the United States it most likely won't arrive before Christmas (if that matters to you).

Happy Birthday, Happy Holidays, and Merry Christmas, one and all!

And we have a winner! But not without issues!

Last Wednesday I promised that tonight I would announce the winner of my wine (or whatever you want it to be) tote, and I planned on asking the Countess von Chlorox to help yet once again. In my mind (feeble as it is) I envisioned The Countess, looking ever so fetching in a cute 'Knotty Cat' Santa outfit, picking a winner, and everyone living happily ever after.


Was I surprised when my plans went awry?

Not really, as that's basically the story of my life.

I lost my camera-to-computer cord over Thanksgiving weekend and my new cord (ordered via Amazon.com) has yet to arrive.

But I have to pick a winner, and I hate to disappoint, so I dug into my Chlorox picture archives and came up with these.

Chlorox has asked to narrate her own story, and here it is.

Here I am pondering my next sewing project. I feel that lying across the instructions gives me a creative boost. If the sun is streaming in the windows and across the instructions, it's even better, and fairly intoxicating!











Cutting out fabric can be terribly exhausting.

Here I am at the machine.
I love my pink scissors.























New arrivals of fabric make me go weak in the knees.

















What do you mean I have to pick another winner???

Why do I have to do everything around here???
















I would much rather read my book and drink my catnip tea, thank you very much!














Or perhaps while I'm flying first class, I'd like to watch a movie while the flight attendant fetches my drink.
Which, by the way, is taking far too long!!!!

But I certainly don't feel like picking another winner!!!









If I have to spend all my time picking winners of stupid contests I'll never have time to catch more tasty morsels like this one!















Yes, they are green.
Yes, they are real.
And yes, they are fabulous!!!














Finally, after all that whining and complaining The Countess is naming the winner.


And it's Mary from Resident Alien!!


I find it very coincidental that Mary's last post was about cats!

I kid you not!!

So Mary, you need to let me know which bag you want although I have a feeling I already know which one it is. Just email me (my address is right below my 'about me' page) so I know where to send it.

The only thing I hate about contests is that not everybody wins so I think before the week is over I'll have just one more.

Hey it's Christmas!!

Stay tuned and hope my cord shows up soon!

Open mouth, insert foot, and A CONTEST!

Haven't we all, at one time or another, said or done, something completely inappropriately?

Like ask someone when she's due, and she isn't even pregnant?

Or send a scathing letter to a business (like my girlfriend did) about the poor service she received and then name the wrong employee in the complaint?

I recently went back home to get my hair cut and colored, but my beautician was going to be out of town, and she asked would I mind if her sister did it instead.

No problem, I've known all of them forever and I actually worked with their mother for several years.

Now this is a family of three women who are the sweetest people you'll ever meet, but they share a gene that causes them to say and do things, that in retrospect, are just awful!

And while they know it, they just can't help it.

My three hour appointment was spent laughing myself silly at the stories Sister Judy shared with me. Some examples:

The time Judy (who is from a very small town) went to the local funeral home for a viewing. She spent a great deal of time visiting with neighbors and acquaintances as she worked her way through the reception line, but when she got to the casket she blurted out, "Oh my gosh, I don't know this person, who is it?"

She was at the wrong funeral home.

Judy once ran into someone who had a very odd last name and she said, "Oh I remember graduating with So-and-So who has the same last name as you!" "That's my sister," stated the lady. "Oh, what ever happened to that baby she had when we were in High School?" Judy asked. The lady said, "I'm that baby, my grandmother raised me and my mother became my sister."

Top that!

But guess what? It gets better.

Back in the day, we all used to order our birthday cakes etc... from a handful of local ladies who baked and decorated cakes from their homes. We all had our favorite bakers, and Kathy (Judy's sister, and my beautician) had placed an order with her particular cake lady, and she was to pick it up in the late afternoon. This was during a time right after three devastating tornadoes had ripped through three of our small towns within minutes of each other. The results had been deadly, many people died, and we all knew or worked with someone affected by them.

Anyway, Kathy's mom heard the tornado warning come over the radio and it was in the area where Kathy was to pick up her cake. In a panic Kathy's mom felt it her mission to call the cake lady in order to warn her about the coming tornado.

The lady had no idea who Kathy's mother was.

Kathy's mom once again went over the details and the cake lady said, "Your daughter didn't order a cake from me.

"That's when Kathy's mother realized she'd called the wrong lady. "Oh thank God!" She exclaimed, "I never liked your cakes anyway!"

There are zillions of more stories but I'll stop here.

At dinner time that night, I tried to tell Hans all the stories I had heard. But when I got to the cake episode tears were running down my face, I started squeaking, and I was literally lying across the kitchen table. Hans got that 'deer in the headlights' look and I think he may have feared for my sanity.

Holidays can be stressful (how well I remember the Christmas Eve I spent alone while my kids were with their dad and his girlfriend!), so I'd like to approach this season with some humor.

Leave a comment on this post and the winner will receive a wine bag made by me. I'd love it if you would share something you've said or done that was sooooo bad, you still cringe! Or maybe you've heard a horrible story from someone else.

Even if you don't have a story just leave a comment that you want in on the contest.

I'm pretty easy!

The winner receives one of these wine totes. Either the wine cask theme or the kitty. You choose!

It can hold two wine bottles. Or you can use it as a lunch tote, although it's not insulated.

Actually you could put your knitting supplies in it too. Or maybe a pair of shoes!!

How about bubble bath on one side and a big candle on the other.

It has a seam that's sewn halfway up from the bottom that creates a kind of division in the bag. This is what keeps bottles from clanking together.

This is what it looks like on the bottom. It's pleated so it will stand up easily.

Here's the kitty version.

This is what it looks like when empty.

It folds flat.

Leave a comment by Wednesday, December 9th at 12:00 PM (lunch time) EST in the U.S.

The Countess von Chlorox will make a decision that evening and she's looking forward to it.

This month I'm suffering from one of the worst PMS episodes I've ever experienced (last night I found myself furious at Hans because he doesn't share the same taste in movies as me! His comment to me; "I can't wait for you to find a use for those tampons!" Pretty harsh for Hans!!!!) and I need to laugh at something or I might end up in jail.

Make me laugh, please!!!!

"We have a winner!" proclaims The Countess von Chlorox

I promised to post the winner of my 'tell a ghost story, win a purse contest' today, and I will, but first I must let you in on the whole choosing process.

I decided that since we have a spooky, other world theme going on that it was only fitting to take a slightly different approach at picking a winner.

So I beseeched The Countess von Chlorox to help me. You see, the lovely Countess von Chlorox knows all and sees all.

When she isn't reading tea leaves, she's gazing into crystal balls, and if you cross her paw with catnip she'll return the favor by reading your palm. She was just shuffling her tarot cards when I approached her. Lucky for me the cards had just informed her that there was indeed Gouda cheese in her future, so she was in good humor.

I couldn't help it, but I asked her if her crystal ball might tell her what happens to naughty cats who poop on the dining room floor, in full view of Hans, but she ignored me!

The Countess is moody about things like that.


The Countess sits quietly beside the bowl full of entries. I asked her to hurry up but she said she needed to 'feel the vibration' and that it's a pity that no one understands her craft.











Finally she tips the bowl over and out rolls a winner.
















The Countess is suspicious.
Is this really the winner?
Hmmmm.












Satisfied that there is no fakery afoot, The Countess relaxes and declares a winner.

















And it's BeeBee from Pastiche.

BeeBee, send me an email and we'll figure out what kind of purse you'd like.

I really want to thank everyone for participating in my contest.
It was great fun reading your stories and I hope to do this again.

More Ghost Story Stuff for the Contest

There's another Halloween Contest going on over at Katie's blog. Katie is a published author who loves to sew but you'll need to check her guidelines. Go check it out!

My contest (leave your story or comment on this post ) is open to everyone, and yes that means you international readers. Remember you can win a passport purse, or a back pack made in your choice of colors!




















Also!! You don't need to have a blog to comment. Just leave your name and if you win, look for your name on Sunday. You can then email me with your address. Please understand that I'm not a stalker and even if you give me your address I most likely could never find you as I have no sense of direction!!!




Comments will be accepted until Saturday, October 10 at midnight (EST in the US). I will publish the winner on Sunday.

Thank you everyone for your stories. I'm finding mine to be pretty tame compared to yours.




So now I'm going to take this opportunity to relate a couple more stories that I've been told over the years.

When my mother was around ten or so, she was visiting her grandmother's house. Mom had gone upstairs and was startled to find an old woman sitting at her grandmother's vanity brushing her long white hair. She was wearing a high collared black dress that went all the way to the floor and my mother was puzzled because this was something that ladies in the 1940's didn't wear. She also wondered why the heck this lady was in her grandmother's bedroom. Suddenly the woman realized my mother was watching her because she turned in her seat and glared at her.


And then she disappeared.

Mom ran down to the kitchen and asked her grandmother who this woman was.

Grandma just stood there with a funny look on her face. She didn't say anything for a moment and before turning away she told my mother to forget it. Mom says from the way her grandmother reacted she thinks that she too had seen this old woman, or at least knew who it was, because otherwise she would have laughed at her or told her it was nonsense.

This is very much like a story I heard just a couple of weeks ago. I was at a party and I was talking to a woman who told me about her father who died unexpectedly a few years ago. Shortly after he died she walked into her own family room only to see her dad sitting in his favorite chair and watching TV. She called out "Dad!" and he actually turned, looked at her, and then disappeared. This happened more than once. But she was still having a hard time with his death and cried a lot. And then one day during a crying jag she felt something beside her and looked up. There was her father right beside her and he was shaking his head and frowning. She said "I knew that look and he was unhappy with me." And once again he disappeared. That's when she decided that it was time to move on and she never saw him again.

I told her about my run in with the religious lady at the inn, and Karen who's devoutly religious, remarked, "What the hell does that have to do with it? She must be a nut!"


Thank you very much!

Anymore ghost stories out there??? C'mon, I'm sure there are! And you have until Saturday night to leave a comment!!!!

Do you believe in ghosts? Yes or no, win a purse.

I've never had a contest nor have I given anything away on my blog because I really didn't think anyone would want anything I make. But since not all of my readers are sewists, and not all of my sewing readers like to make purses, I'm going to give it a shot.

And who doesn't like something for free. Well almost free, because I have a task for you.

Read on.

I love a good ghost story which is probably why Halloween is my favorite holiday of all. That and getting dressed up in costume, drinking apple cider (hard or otherwise), enjoying the colors of fall... I could go on ad nauseum but I'll stop here.

I, for one, like to keep an open mind about the spirit world, but until a ghost jumps up and bites Hans the scientist, on the butt, he says they don't exist. Period.

So anyway back in 1999 I had a run in with something (that until someone can prove otherwise) I will call a ghost.

It was December and I was waitressing at the inn. I've mentioned in the past that December is a hellishly busy month at the inn due to Christmas parties etc... and the day of my run in with Miss Ghost, I worked a double shift.

I finished serving lunch and headed down to the ladies room in the dinner theater area of the inn to fix my makeup (waitressing is a sweaty job). At this point the only other person in the whole downstairs was one of the waiters, and he was in the dining room.

The ladies room has a double sink area directly in front of four stalls. If you stand at the sink you cannot touch the stall doors even if you lean. Bear with me, this is important.

As I was fixing my makeup, the stall door directly behind me started to open.

Okay, apparently I wasn't alone in the bathroom. No big deal.

Except the door opened up fully, and from my vantage point at the mirror, I could see that there was no one there.

Also understand that these are heavy wooden doors and there is a big steel spring on the inside that keeps the doors closed when not in use. So after I watched the door open up, I watched it slam and eventually bounce closed.

That's when I turned around.

Okay, who the hell was playing a joke on me.

"Hello?" I called out.

No answer.

So I walked over and opened the door. Of course no one was in there, nor was anyone in the other three stalls, because I opened those doors too.

That's when I stalked out of the bathroom and went to fetch Mike, the waiter, from the dining room.

Mike was a college kid and I used my Mom voice on him so he didn't argue when I demanded he come into the bathroom with me.

He patiently listened to my story and agreed that no way could I have bumped the stall door while standing at the sink.

He agreed that the window was shut and a draft could not have caused the door to open.

And since we're not prone to earthquakes, the only explanation was that I'd had a run in with the legendary inn ghost.

There've been many recorded sightings of the ghost over the years but I certainly didn't think I'd end up having one of them.

And while I found the encounter puzzling, I was never really frightened which is shocking because I'm a chicken shit at heart, I really am!

I've told this story countless times to guests over the years, and for the most part it's been favorably received. I've even had demands for more stories.

Except for one woman. Her thin lips disappeared and her nostrils swelled. "I'm a Christian!" she announced haughtily. "And I don't believe in ghosts!" I wanted to ask her if she'd ever heard of the holy ghost, but I didn't dare!

This sighting happened the first year I worked there and unfortunately I never experienced another one.

So here goes. Because I love me a ghost story I want to hear yours. You can even just leave a comment as to whether you believe in ghosts or not. Or maybe you think I'm crazy (but understand your chances of winning might greatly diminish if you feel the need to tell me so!)

In a week I'll make a random drawing. Whoever wins will get a custom made purse created by me (what the heck, it's free!). I think either a passport purse (you don't need a passport to use it!) Or a back pack. I'll even let you pick your own colors!

I will be out of Internet range until Tuesday so I hope when I get back I have some fun and spooky stories to read!